Note: These “Ask me anything” posts (inspired by Reddit) are created when I post as a character and invite other group members to ask questions.
Q: You’re first name, Zain, is very unique. Is there a story behind your name?
A: I never asked my parents why they picked it, but it’s more common in the Arabic-speaking world. My siblings and I all have names that acknowledge our heritage while still sounding fairly American, so maybe that was the idea. I’ve noticed variations on it becoming even more popular in the US and Britain recently, probably thanks to that One Direction kid.
Q: Was Seb the first man you you participated in discipline (play or otherwise) with?
A: Seb was the first (and only) man I did basically everything with, relationship-wise, so yeah. We met when we were very young. I had kissed a few guys before him, but not much else.
Q: Do you ever stress over Seb’s diabetes?
A: Sometimes. It can be terrifying when his blood sugar is really out of control and he’s not thinking clearly. But that’s when he needs me most, and showing that I’m scared is only going to make it worse, so I have to put the fear aside and act.
The day-to-day management of it was a lot more stressful when we first met and I didn’t know much about it. Lucky for me, he was very patient with explaining everything, and he knows how to take care of himself quite well. That doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting for him. I want nothing more than a cure, to take that constant burden off him.
Q: Why do you not like Babar?
A: Have you never seen the Pink Elephants On Parade scene from Dumbo? Go look it up on YouTube. Now imagine watching that as a five year old. I had a recurring nightmares for at least a month. I swear those animators were on acid. *shudder*
Q: When was the first time you fell in love?
A: Well, it was with Seb, but I don’t know the exact moment. I think the first time I remember feeling it very strongly, we were riding the ferris wheel at the Santa Cruz boardwalk (we met working there), and I had arranged beforehand for the operator, who was a friend of mine, to stop it when our car was at the top. It was right at sunset, and the view was incredible, but I kept looking at him instead of the ocean.
Q: Have you been on the receiving end of discipline as an adult and/or in the military?
A: Depends on what you mean by discipline. Military-style discipline mostly involves exercising, getting screamed at, and extra duties to complete, none of which would be kind or effective with Seb.
I do have a rule that any implement I use on him, I have to use on myself first, so I know what it feels like.
Q: At what point did you start using CP in your relationship and why did you think it was a good idea for the two of you?
A: That’s another of those things that was kind of gradual, so it’s hard to pinpoint an exact starting date. I noticed almost from the beginning that Seb was a lot more comfortable and calm if I took the lead. The problem is, he’s not always happy about letting me, so I have to get creative.
At some point I stumbled on light, almost playful swats as a good way to pull him out of his head enough to listen to me, and it evolved from there. We didn’t start full-on spankings until shortly after my deployment, which was at what is now the halfway mark of our relationship.
Nothing was terrible before, and we probably could’ve gone on without it just fine, but we’re better with it. It’s an effective way to help him release his emotions and break down the mental blocks he has.
Q: How long will you be away? Six months, a year?
A: Plebe Summer — and its ban on electronic communication — is only six weeks, but after that is when the academic year starts, and it’s not like a civilian school where you can just wander off campus whenever you want. But I will have town liberty on most Saturday afternoons, as well as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break leave, plus the summers, although those are shorter than a civilian school’s too. The amount of liberty increases slightly each year.
Q: Were you ever on the receiving end of a spanking? If yes, what for, or what was the most memorable time?
A: My parents weren’t opposed to giving us a few swats now and then when we were little. The most memorable was also the only one that happened after I turned five. I was ten and my little brother, Omar, was four. We were playing with a frisbee in the yard of our house in LA, and I threw it too high, so it landed on the neighbor’s roof. Omar started crying. I didn’t even consider getting an adult to help; I just wanted to fix it.
The house was right next to the fence dividing our lots. I climbed up onto it, and then onto the roof, and tossed the frisbee down to Omar. Getting myself back down was harder. I was kind of dangling from the edge of the roof, trying to get my feet on the fence, when my mother saw me from our window and came running out to pull me down. As soon as I was on the ground, she smacked my butt twice, quite hard, and then told me to go to my room and wait for my father to get home. The waiting bit was awful. I try to avoid making Seb do that.
Anyway, when Dad got home, I explained what had happened to him, and he said he understood but next time I should tell someone older and let them handle it. Then my mom came in, and I told her I was sorry for scaring her, and she said she was sorry, too, and they both hugged me for a very long time, until I wiggled away and asked if I could go play with Omar and my sister, Aliya, again.