Quint & Theo – Zillah's Reading Corner

A Minor Key

Hello dear readers! I hope you’re all safe and well. Here’s a small diversion for you. Takes place shortly after Midnight Kisses. 😊

Quint

For the first time in his life, Quint was considering faking illness to get out of work.

But no, that wouldn’t be right. Not on New Year’s Day, when the hospital was already short-staffed. The fact that he’d volunteered to cover the holiday before he’d known Theo was finally going to coax, charm, and sing his way into his heart the night before didn’t mean he could shirk his responsibilities.

The Five Times It’s Okay to Interrupt Someone’s Reading

They, you, or the house is on fire.

They’re in the path of a tornado.

Alien invasion.

Chris Hemsworth has entered the room.

Or, this:

At Home

Well hello. Long time, no see. I’m happy to say I’m on new medication that is working very well, and I’m back in my groove. Thank you so much to you all for your words of encouragement (which I will reply to, I swear) and for sticking around. Hope you enjoy this story, which takes place after The Disney Diaries. Yeah, here I go again, not writing chronologically. But this contains no spoilers, and finishing Disney will be my next focus.

“Babe, next time we move, please label the boxes in English,” Zain called from the living room. “I don’t know what ‘Serviettes’ means!”

I set a box marked Vaisselle on the counter as I called back, “It means ‘towels.’”

His footsteps tramped upstairs. A few seconds later, Theo appeared in the kitchen doorway with the microwave. “Where do you want this?”

“Um…” I looked around. All the surfaces were covered with boxes to unpack. We really needed more counter space in here. Maybe an island, if it didn’t impede the flow too much. “Uh, on the floor, I guess, for n–”

“SÉBASTIEN LEON MCKENNA CREWS!” Zain bellowed from above.

The Disney Diaries Part Two: The Triad Arrives

I was waiting until I got a bit farther in this one before posting the next part, but since that seems to be taking forever, here it is now. Thank you to everyone who has reached out and shared their well-wishes. I’m doing better right now.

Bradley

Justine’s family lived in a big, brick house surrounded by manicured bushes. The neighborhood looked like the kind of place where kids would flock on Halloween for the best candy. The kind of place where the kids who used to call me “trailer trash” grew up.

I parked Brian’s car in their driveway. He unbuckled his seatbelt. “Coming?”

Continue reading “The Disney Diaries Part Two: The Triad Arrives”

The Insomnia Fix

Of all our rules, the ones about my sleep habits have probably evolved and changed the most. Not that good sleep hasn’t always been important to Quint, because hoo-boy, it has. He is fanatical. But over the years, we’ve both learned what works better when my middle-of-the-night bouts of insomnia strike. Plus the bouts themselves have gotten less frequent since I transitioned off taking medication for my ADHD.

One thing has stayed the same pretty much from the start, though: I’m supposed to wake him up if I can’t fall back asleep after ten minutes.

Continue reading “The Insomnia Fix”

#GBBO

“No! Noooo!! Why are you doing that?! Oh, mes dieux, you sot!”

Theo followed the racket to the living room and stared from behind the couch as Seb threw up his hands in disgust and muttered more French at the television. On the screen, someone was pouring a white powder into a KitchenAid stand mixer as upbeat music played. The camera cut to another angle, and a woman who resembled Rachel Maddow shouted, “One hour left, bakers!”

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Lame Duck

Quint

Seb had his nose buried in a book all afternoon, from the time I came home from work until he staggered, zombie-like and still reading, to brush his teeth before bed. Its cover proclaimed it the winner of the 2016 Hugo Award, so I didn’t blame him. I did ask that he put it down during dinner. He complied, though he was in a book-trance for the entire meal. I doubt that he processed much of the conversation between Theo and I.

While he and Theo went to bed, I took Jagger out for his last walk of the night. It was perhaps fifteen minutes later that I returned to find Seb’s light shining from beneath his door.

Continue reading “Lame Duck”

Christmas Cookies

“OH MY GOD, would you please remove the stick from your ass and stop fucking ruining all the fun?”

Lyra looked up from painting her high chair with green frosting. Next to her in his own chair, Griffin froze, his expression almost as terrified as it had been when Quint turned on the hand-mixer. Both of them stared at the two men in the kitchen.

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Time to Face The Music

I was the one who said it. I don’t know why. Like many things I regret saying, it came flying out of my mouth during a moment of frustration. Well, a whole week of frustration, really, but that was the pinnacle. When Quint told me to get ready for bed and I realized yet another day had passed with nothing to show for it.

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The Disney Diaries – Part One: Marathon Weekend

I’ve decided to post this one in parts, because it will be so long overall. This part focuses on Quint/Theo and Seb/Zain, but the triad will be featured as well in the next part, so I’m tagging with all of them.

Zain

I sighed and jogged my knee up and down. Slouching in my chair, I stretched my foot out across the aisle until I could poke Seb’s shin with my toes. He looked up from his book, rolled his eyes, and went back to reading. Next to him, Quint was also peacefully absorbed in a book. A voice droned over the PA. Likely announcing the next flight to board. It wouldn’t be ours.

I sighed again.

Continue reading “The Disney Diaries – Part One: Marathon Weekend”

Just Between Us Squirrel Friends…

Seb

It was one of those days where I met Theo in Washington Square after my classes and sat on a bench sketching passersby while I watched him and Jagger perform until it was time to go home for dinner. I like the diversity of the people who filter through. They give me practice in all different styles and body types. Among the mélange that afternoon, one person stood out.

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The Adventure of Gift-Giving

It was going to be a perfect present. Even better than the portrait I commissioned from Seb last year, which trust me, wasn’t easy. Quint loved that thing from the moment I gave it to him, and he loves it more now, I think, because he’s grown to love Seb. But I thought of a way to top it eventually. I had to. It’s not every day that your husband turns fifty. I was so proud of my idea.

Then Quint ruined it.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 17

Bradley

I hopped up, turning away from Mohyeldin to brush the tears out of my eyes. Behind me, Seb said, “Un moment, Z.”

Clearing my throat as I faced them again, I said, “No, now’s fine. Everyone’s waiting to watch your presentation, Seb.”

“Don’t say that,” Mohyeldin said, sounding amused but looking concerned, the way that used to get me spitting mad. I’ve learned to accept it now, so I let him see in my expression that I was okay. He shook his head and smiled. “You’ll undo all my good work making him relaxed.”

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 16

Seb

The house was painted a moss green, pale against the forest foliage surrounding it like a nest around an egg. Theo, beside me, took a deep breath. I glanced over. He was surveying it with a grim expression. Quint put his arm around his husband’s hips and pulled him closer, kissing his temple while Zain turned his head to track a noise through the trees. “That’ll be Cecilia with the keys,” Zain said.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 15

Zain

I left Seb strangling the plush unicorn and edged along the row of people to the aisle between the benches. By then, Cameron had spotted me. She smiled and sped up. Focusing on Platt, I tried to read his expression. About the same as when he’d left, I thought. All that time, and they’d made no progress?

“Hey,” I said. “Where’s Myrick?”

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 14

Zain

Friday simultaneously flew and crawled by. Every minute of it was filled with schoolwork, thanks to my classes and assignments. I didn’t want to have to crack a textbook all weekend, so I had to finish a couple of things early and make enough progress on others to be able not to worry about them. No Skype call took place that night, since Seb, Quint, and Theo were in the car on their way down already. I did call Seb on the phone just to hear his voice, though.

I also didn’t see Platt except for our PoliSci class and in the few minutes before meal formations. I was glad. A secretive smile kept coming over my face, so often that JJ asked, “Why do you look like the cat who got the cream?” I didn’t want the kid to be suspicious. His reply to my emailed invite—the last piece of the puzzle—was an unwitting, Sure, see you tomorrow.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 13

Zain

I hung up with Seb and Quint just as JJ was coming through the door from the Spectrum meeting. He climbed onto his rack with a long, drawn-out moan. “My life has gotten way too interesting since I met you,” he said. “Myrick wanted to go after Platypus the moment you left. I almost had to physically block him while I convinced him to give the kid some space. I didn’t see exactly what happened between you three, but it seemed like it wasn’t good.”

Linking my hands together on top of my head, I considered that. Five minutes earlier, I would’ve agreed. Now, with Seb’s reassurance Platt was at least a little open to the idea of polyamory, I’d revised my opinion. “I think it was a step in the right direction,” I said.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 12

Zain

Platt showed up at my door on Wednesday night five minutes before Spectrum. Given that we had to walk to Chauvenet Hall for the meeting still, that was practically late. I didn’t mention it, though. I was glad he’d come at all.

He stood staring blank-faced at the window while JJ finished tying his shoe. I’d seen that look before. It was the does-not-compute one he got when he was doing his absolute best job at blocking out anything beyond his own head. Trying to shake him free of it, I asked, “How was the pool lesson after I left last night?” I’d decided to raise the training wheels a bit and let him and Myrick talk alone.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 11

Zain

I went to get a snack from Drydock, mostly to distract myself from wanting to call Seb again. I had to let him work this out with Quint and Theo, hard as it was when I knew he was feeling miserable and might be headed into a diabetes rollercoaster. My poor boy just couldn’t catch a break. I was glad, though, that we’d already been working on improving his morale. He was much better positioned to deal with it today than he would’ve been a few weeks back.

As I carried the bag of chips I’d bought out of Dahlgren Hall, I heard a shout. “Mohyeldin! I need to talk to you.”

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 10

Seb

The Botanic Gardens were an oasis of calm and green, growing things. Songbirds flew among the trees while rabbits hopped in the rosebeds. I lay on soft grass with my head close to Quint’s and Theo’s, listening to them point out clouds that looked like bicycles and guitars, and I breathed deep. I didn’t even notice how much time was passing until Zain’s phone call.

When I came back to them from the bench where I’d moved during the call, Quint sat up. “Everything alright, mon chaton?”

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 9

Zain

Platt showed up at my door after dinner on Friday. It was propped open, and he hovered in the passageway just on outside the room, looking between me and JJ, who was reading something on his computer. I waved the kid in from my rack. “Sup, Platypus?” Pointing to the chair at the desk below the rack, I said, “Sit.”

He did. JJ grinned over his shoulder and said, “Yo.”

“Hi,” Platt said, before craning his head to look up at me. “I wanted to talk to you about the… the meeting we discussed attending.”

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 8

Seb

After Quint brought me to my room and pulled back the covers so I could climb into bed with a newly-reheated butt, he let me check my phone. Two emails had come in, one each from Bradley and Zain. I opened Bradley’s first.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 7

Zain

I stuck my hand in the cubby by my head, pulled out my phone, and answered it on the second buzz, but even so, JJ groaned from his own rack. He’s not at his best when he gets woken up in the middle of the night. Ignoring him, I asked Quint, “‘S’goin’ on?”

“Seb is alright,” he said, “and I’m sorry for disturbing you so late, however, I felt this was potentially urgent.”

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 6

Seb

Theo was at the table eating a bowl of cereal when I came out the morning after that disastrous first day of classes. He smiled and said, “Hey. Sorry about yesterday.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I let slip that you didn’t get enough sleep.”

“Nah, I really needed that early bedtime.” Ruefully, he added, “Although that didn’t stop me from throwing a tantrum about it after you left. Wound up sleeping on my stomach.”

Continue reading “Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 6”

Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 5

Sorry today’s chapter is so short. The next one is extra-long to make up for it. Also, I wanted to let you all know I’m going to Disney World at the end of April to research an upcoming story! Be sure you’re following me on Twitter (@zillahwrites) for sneak peeks of that, plus lots of other fun stuff. I might even run a poll or two about what I should write next. 😀

Edit: Apparently WordPress doesn’t know the clock shifted. Sorry for the late post, everyone!

Zain

Working out the details of the plan with Quint was a great distraction from wondering too much about what Platt had emailed Seb. If the kid wasn’t mad, I could let it lie for now.

The other Top and I wrote back and forth a few times that night. I’d been worried he’d disapprove of what I had in mind, but he said, Yes, I do see the value in that, and even suggested some great ideas himself. My Brat was in good hands.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 4

Seb

The door below opened with a squeak of unused hinges. A sliver of light from the hallway cut across the dull gray wall, widening and then shrinking again as the door swung shut. Quint’s footsteps echoed through the stairwell. He climbed the first half-flight, stopped on the landing, and looked up at me sitting above him.

I had a flash of when he’d gotten me down from the tree in the park, back when we barely knew each other. Calm expectation filled his face, the same as then.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 3

Zain

My idea of going to Myrick had to be put on hold temporarily, thanks to mandatory company meetings, drills, meal formations, and, of course, classes. Not being a plebe gave me more free time, but not that much. I barely even saw JJ.

And then part two of my plan—letting Platt have his space until Seb reported back—went out the window in my second-to-last class of the day, when I walked into the room and saw the back of his platinum blond head shining like a beacon. I should’ve expected it, really, now that we were both polisci majors.

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Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 2

A quick announcement before today’s chapter: I created a Twitter profile, @zillahwrites, to share when a new blog post is live, as well as writing articles I find interesting and behind-the-scenes stuff. I’d love if you followed me. ?

Also, I’m so excited because a story I’ve been co-writing with Dizzy for months is finally finished! It’s a crossover with her wonderful Teardrop Lake Resort Seminar Series, and you can read it here. (Just a note, there are major spoilers for Of Churros and Anger Management.)

Seb

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one who comes up with the brilliant plans, Z?” I asked, frowning.

He slouched in his desk chair and crossed his arms over his chest with a heavy sigh. “Yeeeesss, I am, and it’s soooooo frustrating. That kid foils the every single strategy I’ve got. Put him in charge of fighting ISIS. They’d give up within a day, I swear.”

I rolled my eyes. “Stop sulking. You can’t get your way with everything.”

Continue reading “Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 2”

Back to School, Ring the Bell – Ch. 1

I’m doing something a little unusual (for me) with this story. I decided to post it in chapters. If you’re the kind that doesn’t like to start WIPs for fear they won’t be finished, don’t worry. I have about forty-nine thousand words of this baby down and am putting all my focus on it until it’s done. I just don’t want to make my readers wait that long for another story. Also, comments and feedback are truly great motivation for me to buckle down and write already. ?

Each chapter is scheduled to post at 3pm (New York time) on Sundays, so you can check back weekly for the next part. Or if you want, you can subscribe in the sidebar and get notifications for all my posts.

We pick up shortly after Of Churros and Anger Management. Enjoy!

Zain

The flight that would bring me back to Annapolis from my last summer training block took off at a tiny regional airport. Four other people sat in the only terminal with me, all of us comfortably absorbed in our phones. One guy was bobbing his head along with music from his earbuds. As for myself, I spent the time catching up on my email.

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Questions 2

You can read my first Questions post here. I promise I’m also working on an actual story, too. It’s a long one, so it’s taking me time

Also, an important announcement: For the past year, I’ve had a site redirect set up so if someone clicked on a link to my old site (zillahsreadingcorner.wordpress.com) it would automatically bring them to my new site (zillahsreadingcorner.com). As of February 1st, that will no longer happen, so if you have any old links or bookmarks, please, please update them. Thanks!

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Midnight Kisses

Note: This story wraps around the flashback section of First Christmas Eve. I recommend having that one open in another tab to read right after Theo agrees to buy gloves in this one. And yes, I know things would be so much easier if I wrote in any sort of chronological order.

November 2006 — Two weeks before Thanksgiving

“Are you certain this invitation wasn’t meant to be politely declined?” Quint asked, quietly, so as not to be overheard by their young hostess, who had taken the bottle of pinot noir to the kitchen to chill. “They are your friends, and there was no need for me to come along simply because I’m staying with you.”

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Merry and Bright

I gawked. On either side of me, Mom and Quint gawked, too, only they did it more subtly.

The house—mansion, really—in front of us looked like there had been an explosion in a warehouse full of the most gaudy outdoor Christmas decorations you can imagine, and all the debris had gotten plastered to it.

Well, perhaps some of it would’ve looked nice by itself, but thrown together as it was in a hodgepodge of lights, wire-frame reindeer, snowflakes, shooting stars, nutcrackers, and one very creepy, glaring Santa head with his mouth agape….

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Calling the Shots

I should have been more suspicious. Every other year, I got my flu vaccination in the clinic near our apartment. I go in, get sprayed in the nose, and walk out ten minutes later. So why, this year, did Quint wait until I came to the hospital with him to volunteer as Jagger’s handler, and then suggest we take care of it before I started for the day? Why did he pass Jagger off to a group of doctors and nurses—all very eager to pet him—and bring me into his office alone?

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🍌 Monkey Business 🙈

Set between Trouble in Paradise and Playing the Birthday Blues

Theo trudged into the great room early one morning near the end of their Hawaiian vacation. Early enough that Zain and Quint had yet to return from their run, amazingly. He found Seb perched on a bar stool in a full lotus pose with his sketchbook open in front of him.

“Mornin’,” Theo mumbled, going around the younger Brat to the coffee pot.

“Hi,” Seb replied, absentminded, as he continued to sketch.

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Of Churros and Anger Management

Theo

Reaching the top of the hill at last, I stopped to squint through branches and leaves at the buildings barely visible on the edges of the park. “Okay,” I said. “That’s the West Side, so we’re definitely going in the right direction.”

Seb came up the dirt path behind me, wiping sweat off his forehead with his t-shirt collar. He let it drop and gave me a tentative look. “Are you sure? Because we… we just passed that tree again.”

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Playing the Birthday Blues

It had been a good birthday. But then, why did I need to convince myself of that?

From breakfast this morning—waffles that Quint got up early to make specially, even though he needed to leave for work as soon as he was done and couldn’t enjoy them himself—to the small dinner party that had just started winding down now, everything was great.

Sure, the party had a slightly lower turnout than last year: My mom, Zeggy, Ike, the twins, Seb, and of course, Quint. That just meant we could hold it in our apartment rather than Zeg’s house. And I still got plenty of birthday wishes on Facebook. It wasn’t the number of people that bothered me.

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Trouble in Paradise

Theo

“Theo! Quint! Over here!”

Quint spotted them first, of course. Being tall gives him an unfair advantage at things like that. It wasn’t hard for me to catch sight of them after he pointed in the right direction, though. Zain was bouncing up and down, and the colorful strands of flowers in Seb’s hand were very eye-catching. We navigated ourselves and our suitcases through the crowd of disembarking tourists to where the younger couple stood near the wall.

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Pride and Panic

Quint

The morning of the Pride march, I sat Theo and Seb down on the couch and stood in front of them. “Before we leave,” I said, “I’d like to go over ground rules, the first being that you will both stay with me at all times.”

Seb looked up with a wide-eyed seriousness that contrasted against the cheerful rainbow paint splatters of his shirt, while Theo stopped scratching Jagger’s ears, sat back into the cushions, and sighed heavily.

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You Can Quote Me On That

Note: Takes place between Wash & Fold and Graduation Day.

My pencil scratched across the yellow legal pad mutinously, with dark, heavy strokes. Apart from the scratches, the only sound to be heard was Quint occasionally turning a page of his book or Jagger sighing in his sleep. Both of them looked perfectly peaceful over on the couch. Quint was pretending not to notice the attitude of my pencil.

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Holding Pattern

Note: I’ve also added the emails Platt and Seb sent after Plebes No More as a comment to that story.

“Seb? Theo said you’ve been in here all day. How are you feeling?”

I look up at him with just my eyes. My head stays on my pillow, cheek mashed into it so it hides half my face. “Don’t know.”

Quint frowns and steps fully into the room. He sits on the edge of the bed. “No?”

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The Morning After

The aroma of freshly-ground coffee dragged Theo out of our bedroom at ten. I took a sip from the mug I had just filled, opened one of the files of papers spread across the dining table in front of me, and began cross-referencing to a spreadsheet I had pulled up on my laptop. “Good morning, angel. There are eggs in the fridge for your breakfast.”

He grunted. I watched him shuffle to the kitchen and pour himself coffee, but he made no move towards food.

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Plebes No More

Zain described Herndon as “a bunch of sweaty, shirtless sailors climbing a giant lubed-up phallic symbol.” I had to admit he had a point, even if it’d made Theo choke on his orange juice and Quint’s eyebrow go sky high.

That breakfast was over a week ago, during the few days of intersessional leave he got between final exams and Sea Trials. We left to drop him off at the bus back to Annapolis right after.

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Doggy Yoga

Ever since Seb moved in, I kept hearing giggling coming from his room in the mornings. Not every day, but often enough to be kinda odd. However—and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this—I am not a Morning Person™, so I’d just hear it, think who finds anything funny this early? and fall asleep again, and when I was properly awake I’d forget about it.

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Wash & Fold

Note: Takes place shortly after To Trust, Cherish, and Honor.

Well I thought it was a brilliant idea. Still do, actually, though I have a feeling that’s going to be changing as soon as Quint calls me out of the corner. I spin my ring around my finger, something I can’t seem to stop doing since I began wearing it a couple of weeks ago.

“Theodore, put your hands by your sides,” Quint says from somewhere behind me—sounds like the stove, maybe. “You’re meant to be thinking about what you did.”

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Les Chatons Roses

The pink kitten had lived on a bookcase at first, with bright paper cards propped up around it. The room’s occupant—its new owner—touched it most days during that period. He would move it first behind the cards so it was hidden from view, and then, a few minutes later, back in front of them. Study it. Fiddle with it again. Walk away, only to repeat the process the next day.

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For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow (And So Say All of Us)

I fed out slack on the rope, watching carefully as Platt pushed off one of the brightly-colored holds on the climbing wall about forty feet above me. He stretched his right hand up as far as he could. His toes barely gripped. I stayed light on my feet, prepared to jump if he fell—a technique called “dynamic belaying” that would give a softer catch and reduce the risk of injury. To my left, JJ was calling to Sullivan to clip into the wall before she went further up. I ignored them and stayed focused. Platt grunted, his fingers spread and flexing.

The new hold he was aiming for remained mere inches out of reach. If his audible huff hadn’t given away his frustration, the way he pounded the side of his fist against the wall would have.

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Contain Yourself, Quint

When I went to collect Seb’s bedding to be washed and found a pile of sketchbooks and other assorted papers scattered over it, I knew something needed to be done.

“Mon chaton? Come in here, please.”

He appeared in his doorway after several seconds, holding the microfiber cloth he was using to dust the living room. “Oui?”

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Roots and Sprouts

Zain

“I want to do all the cheesy touristy stuff, babe,” I told Seb as we followed Quint and Theo into the subway train car. “Times Square, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, all that.”

He looked askance at me. “Why?”

“Because it’ll be fun!” I said. “And it’s my first visit to the city where I’ll actually have time explore. C’mon, do it with me and I’ll go to that art museum Quint bought a membership for with you.”

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Scrabble: Brat Edition

Note: Takes place between Overtime and A Halloween Tale.

No, I did not get spanked, thank you very much. And I still think it was at least partly Quint’s fault. He knows us shopping together is just asking for trouble. But did that excuse me from going with him to pick out furnishings for the new apartment? Nope. Not even when I said it was going to be his office, so what did I care what it looked like? He told me we both lived there, and the shopping trip wouldn’t be a big production.

Ha.

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Medical Alert

On the way out the door, Quint caught me by the shoulder. “Where’s your alert bracelet, mon chaton?”

I looked down at my bare wrist. “Oh, um, in my room.”

“Go get it, please. Hurry up.”

He clearly thought I’d just forgotten. Theo was already in the hallway, with Jagger sitting by his side wearing his special red harness. Trying to explain would only make us all late. I went back, retrieved the bracelet, and put it on as I rejoined them.

It felt like a shackle.

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The Meet Cute

Note: Parts of this story take place when Seb and Zain are underage (14 and 15). It also mentions them having sex as teenagers, though it doesn’t show it.

Life follows a predictable schedule made up of morning yoga and meditation, attending classes, doing homework in studios or at the apartment, cooking dinner when it’s my turn and washing up after when it’s not, Skyping with Zain for as long as he can, spending evenings with Quint and Theo, and then coloring either a mandala or a page of one of my new books before bed.

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Two Celebrations and a Trajeudi

“Seb! Dinner!”

“I meant to go let him know dinner is ready, angel. I could have yelled across the apartment myself.”

I wished Theo had just come to get me as well. My head felt like an eggshell, and the chick inside was rapping its beak against my temples. Any second now, I’d crack.

Pulling my mind away from that unpleasant image, I said, “Be right there!” towards the kitchen, and then started putting my colored pencils in my desk.

That sounded odd. My desk. It was Quint’s desk, really, even if it had been weeks since he’d moved his things out of it and into a new one in the master bedroom.

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The Day of a Hundred Swats

Another one. And this time, Seb’s yelp was audible through the wall. Jagger lifted his head off my legs, cocked his ear in that direction, and whined.

“Shh, boy,” I said, reaching across the couch cushion to pet him. “It’s okay.”

He settled back down with a softer whine, clearly not quite convinced. He wasn’t the only one. I’d lost count of the number of swats I’d overheard since the first one woke me up. Somewhere around a dozen by now, I thought. Never in my life has Quint ever given me so many in one morning.

Continue reading “The Day of a Hundred Swats”

Re: Moving Day and Some Questions About Seb

Note: These are the emails Quint and Zain sent each other during And Love Dares You. They can be read on their own.

Dear Zain,

How is the return to your studies going? I confess, I’m not overly familiar with the way things work at a military academy. Do you have a major?

I’m afraid I’m writing to you with more purpose than to see how you’re settling back in at school. A dilemma arose today with Seb, and I need your opinion on it.

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Winter Break

Zain

Sitting next to Seb on the floor of a crowded LAX airport terminal with our backs against a concrete block, I started singing under my breath. “Mele Kalikimaka is the thiiing to saaay on a briiight Hawaiian Christmas daaay–”

“Zain.”

“That’s the island greeting that we seeend to yoouu from the laaand where palm trees swaaaaay… What, babe?”

My voice wasn’t loud enough to draw any sort of attention, yet he was giving me one of his pained looks. “Christmas was yesterday, we didn’t celebrate it, and we aren’t in Hawaii.”

Continue reading “Winter Break”

Saved By the Jingle Bells

“You can’t spank me, I’m Santa!”

Yes, okay, that sounded ridiculous. But the whole situation was ridiculous. We were only having fun! Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Most ridiculous of all was how serious Quint managed to look in an elf costume. “One,” he said, raising an eyebrow beneath the brim of his floppy felt hat.

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The Trauma of Painting

Note: Title is shamelessly stolen from the title of the exhibition at the Guggenheim in NYC that inspired this. I highly recommend checking out its website, too. At least watch the super-short video here, because it makes the story make a lot more sense.

Horrible. Ugly, cumbersome, primitive, just merde. I should’ve taken a knife to it ages ago. Or a match. It would make a better bonfire than it did a painting, that was certain. I couldn’t turn it in as my final piece, but I had no time to make a new one. It was due in less than thirty-six hours, now. I stood in the middle of the studio, glaring at the canvas, as I tried to think how I might salvage it from my string of mistakes. ‘Happy accidents,’ my ass, Bob Ross.

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Bugging Out

Seb

After the rocky start, I enjoyed working with Theo on his angel. We came up with the basic idea to use medieval illustrations as the inspiration, but modernized to look more like him, with stubble, ruffled feathers, and halo just slightly off-kilter. Then I drew a few variations of it over Thanksgiving break for him to choose from. He picked one, and I spent the next week making designs for different applications. We planned to finish the project this weekend, before my finals started.

That was, if he ever looked at the drawings.

Continue reading “Bugging Out”

Angels and Demons

Quint

I expected the knock on my office door Friday afternoon to be a colleague bringing a few papers I had requested. My “come in,” however, was answered by Seb peeking around the frame.

“Um, hi.”

Continue reading “Angels and Demons”

Questions 1

Note: These are similar to my “ask me anything” posts, except that the group asks questions for any of our characters to answer. Therefore, not all characters answer all questions.

Q: Do you ever borrow your partner’s clothes?

Zain: Seb says his clothes are too tight on me. Personally, I don’t see why that’s a problem. He doesn’t like me stretching them out, though, so I stopped borrowing them. His loose yoga pants could probably fit me, but I love the way those look on him way too much to take them for myself.

Theo: Quint has this one ancient Harvard sweatshirt that’s all torn at the cuffs and bleach-stained, and I refuse to let him throw it out because it’s the only thing I like wearing when I’m sick. I’m not sure it could be called his anymore. I’m the only one who wears it.

Continue reading “Questions 1”

I’m Quint Hanniford. Ask me anything.

Note: These “Ask me anything” posts (inspired by Reddit) are created when I post as a character and invite other group members to ask questions.

Q: What was your first impression of Zain?

A: My first thought when I saw him over Skype was Good grief, he’s young. I knew beforehand that he was a college student like Seb, and of course Tops can be any age, but I was still taken aback, by that and by his boyish manners. However, it was obvious how much he loved Seb, and the more he joked about the situation, the more relaxed Seb became. They complement each other well.

Continue reading “I’m Quint Hanniford. Ask me anything.”

When Life Leaves You High and Dry

This is a long one. It’s long enough to be called a novel, actually, but I prefer to think of it as a novel-length story. Like Plebe Summer, I’m hosting it in a separate PDF file. If you’re downloading using a mobile device, it is best viewed in something like the Kindle or iBooks apps. Some PDF viewers don’t support the navigation links.

When Life Leaves You High and Dry

-Zillah

Graduation Day

Note: Takes place in the gap between To Trust, Cherish, and Honor and Overtime.

“Do I have this on backwards? I couldn’t figure out what side the zipper is supposed to go, and there’s no tag.”

Quint, who was standing at the bathroom sink shaving, looked over his shoulder and stopped with half his face still covered in white lather. He didn’t answer me.

Swiftly, I added, “I’m trying everything on to make sure I’m not missing pieces and won’t completely embarrass myself later. As soon as I’m done, it’ll go back into the garment bag, I swear.”

Continue reading “Graduation Day”

The Root of The Root

I heard it from the top of the staircase: that recording of the pleasant female voice all New Yorkers know so well. “This is a Brooklyn-bound F local train. The next stop is West 4th Street – Washington Square.”

“No no no!” I said, rushing headlong down to the platform, against the rising tide of commuters. I nearly tripped at the bottom, but righted myself just in time.

Continue reading “The Root of The Root”

I’m Theo Calhoun. Ask me anything.

Note: These “Ask me anything” posts (inspired by Reddit) are created when I post as a character and invite other group members to ask questions.

Q: Hey, Theo. What’s the stupidest way you’ve ever gotten a spanking?

A: Um… wow, there’s so many I could pick. I think, though, it was probably the time I was being really difficult, and he said, “Young man, would you like a spanking?” and like an idiot, I said, “Oh, yes, please!” …Yeah, that was pretty stupid.

Continue reading “I’m Theo Calhoun. Ask me anything.”

Screen Time

I blame Apple’s obsession with making their devices so intuitive, with the automatic backups and whatnot. Trust me, there is such a thing as being too user-friendly.

See, awhile back, Quint decided we could do with less interaction with electronics, especially before bed. There were studies involved in this decision. The man reads too many studies, if you ask me. These all said something about sleep quality and circadian rhythms or something. I don’t remember the details of our discussion, but putting away the gadgets an hour ahead of bedtime seemed reasonable, so I didn’t put up a fuss.

Until it was time to actually, you know, put away the gadgets.

Continue reading “Screen Time”

First Christmas Eve

Don’t let anyone ever tell you Christmas in New York is magical. Sure, there’s the humongous tree with the televised lighting ceremony, and the department store windows that get more elaborately beautiful each year, and the Rockettes kicking away at Radio City, but you know what else there is?

Slush. Massive, unavoidable puddles of it.

Continue reading “First Christmas Eve”

A Halloween Tale

I can’t imagine any sadder place for a kid to be on Halloween than stuck in a hospital, can you? I think it’s almost worse than being there on Christmas. Family and presents can come to you in most cases, but Halloween is about wearing a costume and going out with your friends and eating tons of candy. Try doing any of that from a sickbed.

Quint’s hospital works to make it still a special day for their patients, though, which is where Jagger and I come in. Every year, we dress up and visit as many kids as possible in their rooms. We’re not the only therapy dog/handler team that does that, of course, but we’re the only ones who also put on shows in each of the playrooms for any kids well enough to attend. What kind of shows? Google “canine musical freestyle” and you’ll get a good idea. We don’t do it competitively, but we are good enough that the hospital’s development office asked us to perform at their Masquerade Ball fundraiser this year.

It was all going swimmingly, until…

Continue reading “A Halloween Tale”

Overtime

Quint had been sitting on the couch with a medical journal open in one hand and a pen in the other, underlining and scribbling notes and being generally distracting, since he’d gotten home. He hadn’t even changed out of work clothes yet, just loosened his tie, which made it about ten times worse.

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Commitment Trilogy Extra

Quint’s POV during the fridge scene:

I have to admit that once I got over the shock, seeing Theo standing in all that mess was extremely amusing. But from the frustration in his voice, I knew that laughing or even smiling would, at best, result in him refusing to speak to me, and at worst would probably necessitate ducking a projectile. Theo’s sense of humor completely vanishes when he’s that angry, so I bit my tongue and used the trip to the dog crate to get my amusement under control.

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To Trust, Cherish, and Honor

Quint ambushed me. You can’t blame me for reacting defensively – that’s what you do when you’re ambushed.

It was my last day of the semester, and my morning final had gone well. We had ice cream for dessert to celebrate, and I was actually in a good mood. Then, just as he started getting ready for bed, he said it.

Continue reading “To Trust, Cherish, and Honor”

Doggone Holidays

Note: Starts at Thanksgiving and ends at Christmas, so it wraps around Give Me The News, Rally Rage, and part of To Trust, Cherish, and Honor.

“Look, Uncle Theo, it’s Santa!” Lyra cried, bouncing up and down beside me with excitement as the last float of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade rolled into view on the TV screen.

“I see him,” I told her.

Tyler, Ike’s ten-year-old nephew, rolled his eyes from the recliner and said, “Santa’s not real.”

Lyra rolled her eyes back at him. “Well, duuuh,” she replied. “I know Santa’s make-believe.”

Continue reading “Doggone Holidays”

Rally Rage

We (or rather, Quint) turned down Ike and Zeggy’s invitation to dinner after the rally, and got home at about seven-thirty. Almost as soon as I took my shoes off, Quint said, “I want to discuss that incident.”

‘Discuss.’ Yeah, right.

“’You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means’,” I said acerbically, watching him hang up his coat.

“I mean ‘discuss’, Inigo. After that, we’ll see where we stand.”

Continue reading “Rally Rage”

Give Me the News

When Quint came home, I was sitting in front of the computer impatiently reloading Facebook again and again every few seconds. “I know,” I said, without looking at him, “I should be writing papers. But I need to see if they’ve voted yet.”

He walked over and leaned down, and I turned my head slightly so he could kiss me, but still kept my eyes on the screen and my hand on the mouse, clicking the refresh button once again. He straightened up after just a moment. “Hey.”

That was his look-at-me tone, not stern in any way but with a faint undercurrent of authority. I transferred my gaze to him immediately.

Continue reading “Give Me the News”

Too Close for Comfort

Note: This takes place three months into the discipline relationship and nine months after they’ve started dating.

Quint realized he had just read the same paragraph three times and still had no idea what it said. Giving up, he put the book down and looked at the clock again. The minute hand had only advanced two dots from the last time he’d looked at it, and now informed him that his partner was officially twenty minutes late for curfew.

Continue reading “Too Close for Comfort”

Watch Your Step

“Excuse me! Excuse me! Sorry, coming through!”

I skidded around the corner and weaved through the other students in the crowded hallway. I bumped more than a few with my bag in passing, but I didn’t have time to do more than gasp a breathless “Sorry!” as I dashed past. The clock on the wall was showing that I had two minutes to make it to my class, but I was on the home stretch now. Just across the third-floor bridge between the West Building and East Building of Hunter College and around one more corner, and I was there. I eyed the bridge, trying to see a way through the students. At this time of day, it was predictably packed, but that had never stopped me before. I took one last deep breath as I stood on the threshold, then ran for it.

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“Biology” is Another Word for Hell

One of my favorite musicals, Spring Awakening, has a song in it called Totally Fucked. The opening lines have always struck a chord with me.

There’s a moment you know
you’re fucked
Not an inch more room
to self-destruct

I’m telling you this because I had one of those moments today.

Continue reading ““Biology” is Another Word for Hell”

Matinee

In my defense, I hadn’t slept much the night before. I get days every once in a while when I just can’t fall asleep, and I’m always in a bad mood the next day if I miss more than two hours. Usually when I’m like that, Quint will just tell me to go take a nap. This time he decided it would be better if we went to a movie.

So you see, really, it’s all his fault. If he’d just been a proper Top and ordered his cranky Brat to bed, none of it would have happened. I’m not saying I wouldn’t have put up a fight about the nap. I’ll fight about the sky being blue, when I get into that mood, but it probably wouldn’t have turned out as bad as it did.

But maybe I should start from the beginning. Zeggy’s always telling me I start stories in the middle and confuse the hell out of her.

Continue reading “Matinee”

Curb The Attitude

Don’t get me wrong. I love Quint. When I contemplate being without him (which I don’t do very often), my chest gets really tight and I tend to get clingy with him for a few hours until the feeling goes away. Everything in my life has gotten immeasurably better since he came along.

But sometimes, he is really fuckin’ annoying.

Continue reading “Curb The Attitude”

Introducing Quint and Theo

Theodore William Calhoun (born August 3, 1983) grew up in New York City in a very traditional Catholic family, but he’s now agnostic. He and his father have been estranged since he came out at seventeen; fortunately, his mother is still close. Theo was diagnosed with AD/HD when he was seven, so his first few years in school were rough, but he tested well enough to be accepted into a prestigious magnet school. After graduating, he went to NYU as a music major on a full scholarship, but had trouble managing all of his school work and his social life, and lost the scholarship after three semesters. When he met Quint he was 23 and living with his best friend while playing gigs with his band. He’s average height with a slightly lean frame, and he has messy auburn hair, hazel eyes, and is usually in need of a shave. His AD/HD is now better controlled, but he’s still naturally an active and outgoing guy and hides his insecurities with a wicked sense of humor and a talent for performing.

Quint’s birth name is Rafferty Leopold Hanniford V, but he prefers the nickname he picked up in his New England boarding school. He was born on September 19, 1966 to a Boston Brahmin family, although he and his parents aren’t close. He works as a pediatric pulmonologist at Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital. He’s reserved around new people, and has a tendency to be set in his ways and slightly inhibited, but he’s a natural with kids. He was on the rowing team at his prep school and at Harvard, and still has the body to show it: tall and powerfully built. He’s 41 when the series starts, and has curly black hair that’s graying around the temples, and blue eyes. He usually wears black horn-rimmed glasses. He’s a firm Top, but it’s difficult to actually annoy him.

A soft-coated Wheaten terrier named Jagger shows up for Christmas one year. He’s energetic, but very well trained, thanks to Quint’s consistent approach. Theo likes to take him busking around the city when the weather’s nice, and Jagger gets more money tossed into his food bowl than Theo gets in his guitar case.

Floorplans:

First Apartment Floorplan

Second Apartment Floorplan